If you help care for a parent, spouse or relative, you are far from alone. According to AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving, about 63 million Americans, nearly one in four adults, provided ongoing care to a family member in the past year. The same 2025 report found that about one in five caregivers rate their own health as fair or poor, and nearly one in four feel socially isolated.
Self-care advice often sounds like it was written for someone with free time. Here are ten small things that fit into a real caregiving week.
1. Take ten minutes that belong to you
Not an hour. Ten minutes, every day, at roughly the same time. A walk around the block, a cup of coffee on the porch, a chapter of a book. Put it on the calendar like an appointment.
2. Ask for specific help
"Let me know if you need anything" rarely turns into help. "Could you sit with Dad on Thursday from 2 to 4?" usually does. Keep a list of concrete tasks people can pick from: groceries, a pharmacy run, an afternoon visit.
3. Lower one standard
Choose one thing that doesn't need to be perfect this month: the laundry folding, the home-cooked dinner, the spotless kitchen. Let it go and use that time for rest.
4. Make activities easier on yourself
Planning something meaningful for your loved one every day is tiring. Ready-made activities, like a printed page you don't have to prepare, take a decision off your plate and still give you both quality time.
5. Keep your own appointments
Caregivers often skip their own check-ups. Book them, and treat them as part of caring for your family. You are part of the care plan.
6. Move a little
A short walk, stretching while the kettle boils, or dancing to one song in the kitchen. Movement is one of the fastest ways to reset a stressful day.
7. Protect your sleep
If nights are disrupted, see whether someone can cover one night a week, even occasionally. Talk to your loved one's doctor if their sleep problems are affecting yours.
8. Find your people
Caregiver support groups, in person or online, connect you with people who understand without explanation. Local Area Agencies on Aging can point you to groups and services near you, and the Eldercare Locator (eldercare.acl.gov) can help you find them.
9. Look into respite care
Respite care gives caregivers a planned break, from a few hours to a few days. Adult day centers, in-home aides and short-term stays are all options. It isn't giving up. It's how caregivers last.
10. Notice what went well
At the end of the day, write down one good moment: a laugh, a finished puzzle, a story you hadn't heard before. On hard weeks, those notes are a reminder of why you're doing this.
If you feel overwhelmed, hopeless or unable to cope, please talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. Asking for help is a strength.
Sources
- Caregiving in the U.S. 2025, AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving, July 2025.
